peterlumpkins.com

Just a little fun on Halloween

Army deserter Bergdahl connected to ballet and Calvinism

Five years ago, Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl reportedly laid down his weapons and quietly vanished into the night from his small military outpost in the Yousaf Khel district of Paktika. Several hunts for him ultimately led to several deaths of American soldiers who tried to find their comrade in arms. Three years later, a story in Rolling Stone magazine entitled "America's Last Prisoner of War" featured Bergdahl as our last prisoner of war turned into a political pawn to end the war against terror. One of the most interesting captions concerning... Read more →

More Inspiration from John Calvin on this our Lord's Day

During John Calvin's reign in Geneva, reportedly it was considered a no-no to laugh during Calvin's preaching, and to do so was met with stiff consequences: "To laugh during a sermon was a matter which drew after it three days' imprisonment, and the necessity of publicly asking pardon." --"Lives of Calvin" The London Quarterly Review, American Edition, Volume XXXV No.1, p. 286 Read more →

Weekend funny: small church pastor preaches as thousands across the Southern Baptist Convention listen

Times exist when I take myself much too seriously. It happens less now than when I was younger but it still happens nonetheless. Paul's words come to me as an inspired reminder: "I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment" (Romans 12:3 ESV). Perhaps strict Calvinist, J. D. Hall, might want to join me in remembering the Apostle's humbling words: Hall's full sermon may be found here. UPDATE #1: Piratechristian radio logged on and... Read more →

ObamaCare enrollment up--just passed five to enroll six people!

ObamaCare gets spoofed at the Country Music Awards: Related articles Associated Press retracts a doctored Obama quote Surprise: ObamaCare will likely increase food stamp enrollment Surprise-Obama Says He Will Not Enroll In ObamaCare Why Is The Left Silent On ObamaCare ObamaCare Continues To Be Massive Failure; Only 51,000 Enrolled Maher: Sure Obama Lied But He Had to or ObamaCare Might Not Have Passed ObamaCare enrolls unborn babies, then pays to abort them Read more →

A Tribute to "Mary" and "Lydia", frequent commenters at SBC Tomorrow

I do not know who the insult is aimed at. Given my dealings with aggressive Calvinist, J.D. Hall, it's probably intended to be a three-way tie. Whatever the case, I thought ending this very tiresome, weary, heart-wrenching week with a little humor would be healthy for us all. Below is a tweet representative of Hall's complete meltdown in attempting to deal with SBC Tomorrow. He just can't quite get a handle on us here. Indeed I think we pretty much burn his beans every time he shows up for supper.... Read more →

Laughing till I can laugh no more

Few videos qualify as a genuine belly-buster. The following video does. I laughed till hurting, crying, and exhausted. I don't know how much has been 'doctored'. That's irrelevant to me. It's just plain funny. Therefore, enjoy the "screaming goats"... Read more →

'Chatty Cathy' no misnomer after all; Women do talk more than men...

image source "Chatty Cathy" dolls were introduced by Mattel Toys into the I-want-a-dollie-for-Christmas market beginning in 1960. For years, my youngest sister (who is older than I am, ha!) drooled for a "Chatty Cathy" to be found under our modest annual Christmas tree in the living room of our four-room shack at Coon Creek Hollow, Tennessee. As I recall, she never got one. "Chatty Cathy" not only remained one of the first talking dolls on the market, she served as an icon for what seemed to be conventional wisdom growing... Read more →

"Pinky is a very loving cat..."--hilarious...

For me, this is one of the funniest youtubes ever. It's an old upload, but age is not a factor. I laugh myself to tears almost every time I watch it. "Pinky is a very loving cat..." the guy says. Apparently, Pinky didn't like the way he said it... Read more →

Ever want the week to be over? by Peter Lumpkins

Friday wrap-up. Enjoy... Read more →

Al Mohler and Charles Spurgeon: the making of a legend by Peter Lumpkins

Below is a video we've all anticipated: "Al Mohler and Charles Spurgeon: the making of a legend." Enjoy... Read more →

Just a little humor on Friday by Peter Lumpkins

No, I'm not stealing our brother Ed Stetzer's cool and entertaining idea for posting funny church signs. But, I have to tell, you... The one below gives him a run for his money on any sign he's ever posted. Enjoy... Our volunteer has happily been posting a series on the 10 commandments. I hope everybody--including my enemies--will heed her wise and merciful counsel. With that, I am... Peter Read more →

Funny for the Weekend by Peter Lumpkins

Here's an oldie but definitely a goodie. It still brings a good giggle. Enjoy. With that, I am... Peter Read more →

Monday Morning Adrenaline Rush! by Peter Lumpkins

Begin the work week with a cool cat, adrenaline rush... >>> With that, I am... Peter Read more →

Worship is...Natural? by Peter Lumpkins

Here's a look at worship from the natural perspective...Enjoy! With that, I am... Peter Read more →

Baptist Blogging at its Best by Peter Lumpkins

Here's an example of the best in Baptist blogging. Enjoy... With that, I am... Peter Read more →

Monday Morning Laugh (Tuesday Morning Laugh also!)

Here's a laugh to brighten up your Monday morning blues... Read more →

Reformed Effeminaphobia by Peter Lumpkins

The internet recently abuzzed over Mark Driscoll’s facebook query a week ago poking fun at “effeminate” males—particularly “effeminate” male worship leaders: “So, what stories do you have about the most effeminate anatomically male worship leaders you’ve ever personally witnessed? >>> The Reformed icon received so much resistance, he took the message down* and subsequently offered an apology—(O.K. O.K. sorta kinda an apology): “I then put a flippant comment on facebook, and a raging debate on gender and related issues ensued. As a man under authority, my executive elders sat me... Read more →

Why Calvinists are so successful at making non-Calvinist friends by Peter Lumpkins

How do they do it? You know, Calvinists who are so good at making non-Calvinist friends. I think one of their secrets must be summarized by Dr. Steven Lawson, senior pastor of Christ Fellowship Baptist Church, Mobile, AL. Yes, this is the same Steven Lawson who took the historic Dauphin Way Baptist Church in 1995 and, in just a few short years, grew the church down from virtually mega-church status* to a staggering 650. Dr. Lawson's secret? Focus on the five points of Calvinism and push evangelism by the wayside.... Read more →

SBC Attendance Flashback by Peter Lumpkins

If the 2011 Southern Baptist Convention in Phoenix we prognosticate to be approximately 5K is correct, how does this compare with former attendance? Let's take a look >>> 2010 Orlando 11, 070 2009 Louisville 8,790 2008 Indianapolis 7,277 2007 San Antonio 8,630 2006 Greensboro 11,639 2005 Nashville 11,641 2004 Indianapolis 8,600 2003 Phoenix 7,077 2002 St. Louis 9,645 2001 New Orleans 9,594 2000 Orlando 11,951 The last time we were in Phoenix, we had 7,077. However, that’s when Southern Baptists were so miserably dead, nothing short of an organized $250,000... Read more →

Low Preregistration for 2011 Southern Baptist Convention by Peter Lumpkins

Word has it approximately 3,800 have preregistered for the 2011 Southern Baptist Convention in Phoenix, AZ. And, if past preregistration stats have any pattern to tell, then we are looking at a convention at or around 5,000.* I personally have not preregistered and will stand in line with my little 3"x5" card doing it the way Paige Patterson, Jerry Vines, and O.S. Hawkins did it in the 1950s. I want to make a statement. With that, I am... Peter *the standard gauge is, the preregistration number stands at approximately 80%... Read more →

Southern Baptists not Reformed Baptists by Peter Lumpkins

Below is a document circulated in 1827 to Baptists in North Carolina. All our Southern Baptist brothers who love the "Reformed" moniker may want to consider this document before they so boldly testify, "I'm a Reformed Baptist" >>> In the Kehukee Association record, we find: 1827. This session of the Association was one of the most remarkable ever held by her. At this time came up for consideration the Declaration of Principles submitted at the last session to the churches for approval or rejection. And upon a full and fair... Read more →

Question for Lifeway: Who Says the Fifties are Irrelevant? by Peter Lumpkins

Below is a rare video depicting the cutting-edge, high-tech mindset of the 1950s. LifeWay Research should learn humility... With that, I am... Peter Read more →

Tim Rogers Makes My New Appointment Public by Peter Lumpkins

I didn't want to make a big deal out of it but North Carolina pastor, Tim Rogers, publicized my new appointment in Southern Baptist life. Get the full scoop: "Lumpkins Appointed Vice-President" With that, I am... Peter Read more →

Seminary Official Identified Who Cut Ties With "Dr" James White! by Peter Lumpkins

Doktor James White just spent approximately the first eight minutes of his most recent Dividing Line broadcast "challenging Peter Lumpkins" to "provide documentation of claims" I've made on this blog. Well, kinda. Much of the eight minutes was taken up by "Dr" White rehearsing all his accomplishments in debates and written materials. Another substantial block of the time was taken by dissing Ergun Caner yet once again. A third block of the time allotted was simply singing the same refrain we've heard from White so often before, "you sir, are... Read more →

Funny Fridays: "Defending" Rob Bell by Peter Lumpkins

Seems my defending an elementary principle like "do unto others" or "love thy neighbor" or any number of other ways one could state a prima facie moral assertion about the hoopla surrounding Rob Bell's book, Love Wins, keeps catching the attention of some. In fact, my posts on the Bell fiasco so far may be best expressed with something like this: one should not publicly present a personal review of a book when one has not read the book about which one presents a review. And, it seems to naturally... Read more →

Breaking News! Steven Furtick a Threat to Evangelicals! by Peter Lumpkins

Last year, J.D. Greear, North Carolina pastor and adjunct professor at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary hosted an Advance the Church meeting and one of the seminar leaders was Steven Furtick, Lead Pastor, Elevation Church, Charlotte, North Carolina. Of Furtick, Greear had this to say, Steven planted Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC, in 2006, after sensing a call from God to plant a “life-changing church in a metropolitan city.” Today Elevation is one of the fastest-growing Gospel-preaching churches in America….Steven has a lot to say….learned a ton…and consider him a friend... Read more →

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND--"James White & God's Love (or lack thereof) for All People" by Peter Lumpkins

I put up a video several months ago visually demonstrating extreme Calvinist*, James White, and his view on God's salvific love (or lack of it) for all people. It captured the essence of his view albeit cloaked in an admitted exaggerated genre. It continually keeps recording stats. People loved it! You will too... at least some of you will... With that, I am... Peter *some accomplished theologians insist White embraces what's known as historic Hyper-Calvinism Read more →

Exciting New Book Just in Time for Sale at the 2011 SBC Pastors' Conference by Peter Lumpkins

Here you go! Just in time for the Pastors' Conference in Phoenix! With that, I am... Peter Read more →

Closing in on Ed Stetzer: My 350th Tweet! by Peter Lumpkins

As all my "fans" know, I'm close to having 350 tweets. My goal is to have the 350th by New Year's Eve. I want it to be special since it will mark the end of 2010, thus starting the New Year with a whopping 351 tweets! Do you realize that over a year and a half, I've typed an incredible 40,000 characters! Not bad, ah? Not only that, I want to close the incredible gap on Ed Stetzer who is celebrating his 10,000th tweet by giving away a free book!... Read more →

The Top Issue Facing Today's Church by Peter Lumpkins

In 2005, LifeWay Christian Resources surveyed more than 1,300 evangelical leaders from around the world to determine what they perceived to be the "Top 10 Issues Facing Today's Church." Among the top issues were: 1. Prayer: The need for more ongoing, passionate prayer in both personal and church life 2. Discipleship: The need for involvement of every believer in being continually transformed into the image of Christ 3. Leadership: The need for clear, biblical vision and direction by church leaders 4. Evangelism: The decline among Christians in personal sharing of... Read more →

Fat Studies and the Southern Baptist Convention by Peter Lumpkins

Yale University senior, Eve Binder, in an interesting article entitled “Fat Studies Goes to College” writes, “A handful of colleges now offer classes entirely devoted to the overweight and obese.” George Washington University, University of California, Oregon State, and Rutgers are among schools getting in on America’s obesity problem by offering students academic opportunities to study the world’s largest population of fatsos >>> According to Binder, the "sociological study of obesity has been creeping into academia for over a decade, often as a subtopic of Women's Studies or Health Sciences.”... Read more →

Time to Quit Blogging? by Peter Lumpkins

The last few days have been, shall we just keep it simple and say, a little rough. To not only have your heart trashed, your faith questioned and your character smeared, but also have impostors being allowed (and even encouraged) to post comments in your name* is not the cup of soup I'd prefer to sip. Nevertheless, I'll sip on bitter soup a good long spell if my leftover options are limited to either a) silence; or b) acquiescence. Biblical commitment and Baptist conviction wed to the Lordship of Jesus... Read more →

Kevin Ezell on Al Mohler and Russell Moore: Bloggers in Housecoats by Peter Lumpkins

Our new president of the North American Mission Board, Dr. Kevin Ezell, recently made disparaging comments toward those pastors, denominational employees, and other ministers who write a public blog. Apparently, Dr. Ezell has little use for “blogging.” He said of those who raised questions concerning his poor giving record to SBC missions over the last several years, "…there are people…[who] …try to get their name in the paper. Typically those are bloggers who live with their mother and wear a housecoat during the day." Must we remind President Ezell that... Read more →

Doktor James White Apologetics: Connecting to the World with Love by Peter Lumpkins

#2 UPDATE: Note: many in the comment thread--not to mention the red-hot emails I received--have raised questions whether my video resembles what it provocatively criticizes. Yet, one representative "Reformed" brother has this to say about me for posting such blasphemous materials: Regardless, his [Peter Lumpkins] hatred of the doctrines of grace cast doubt on whether he has even received saving grace in the first place, for how can a true son of God knowingly and continually spits [sic] upon the grace that saves him?--Daniel Escondido While I could offer other... Read more →

UPDATE: James White On “You, sir, must be silenced!” by Peter Lumpkins

Update: Below is the video James White would like to ban uploaded to youtube: ========================================= Anyone remember my little parody video I put together answering James White’s absurd question: “Anti-caner sites? What on earth is that?”? (//link) Another question: anyone recall the outrage in White’s tactical squad when John Ankerberg petitioned Youtube to pull Mohammad Khan’s videos? I thought so. Well, in light of the two questions above, what is missing from the screen below? Time’s up. My video! Evidently, the video irritated James White so much, his ministry petitioned... Read more →

Is it Possible to be Too Focused? by Peter Lumpkins

A decade ago, a team of psychologists argued an hypothesis which suggested just how oblivious we are to things around us when we intently focus on a single task. They made a video to test their theory. In the study, viewers were asked to count how many times a ball was passed around between several people. Unknown to the viewers, the psychologists staged a man in a gorilla suit to walk freely in the midst of the people passing the ball, randomly weaving in and out. When the tallies were... Read more →

James White and “Anti-Caner” Websites by Peter Lumpkins

When James White asks a question, people listen for his answer. Unfortunately, White asks a question on his site but strangely could not come up with even a guess. He queries: “But truly, how balanced and fair is a statement that makes reference to "anti-Caner websites"? Anti-Caner websites? What on earth is that? (//link). Well, we have an answer for Mr. White: James White filed a complaint at Vimeo.com to have my video pulled citing "copyright infringement." Below is the video uploaded to youtube: With that, I am… Peter Read more →

I for one, with a tear in my eye, just thank God for you, Mr. James White by Peter Lumpkins

*On James White’s site are posted letters he’s received encouraging and comforting him in his time of deep sorrow for not only dealing with a “fallen” brother but also for the ceaseless "attacks" White has endured because of his pure passion for biblical holiness and the Kingdom of God... According to his encouragers, White’s purpose has been swept clean of any traces of total depravity. One wrote, “I for one, with a tear in my eye, just thank God for you- a man of profound integrity and everything the words... Read more →

"Liar, Liar": A Tribute to James White by Peter Lumpkins

As I've noted before on this site, apparently one of James White's favorite pass-times (while he's not studying hundreds of hours weekly for all those "formal" debates) is winning lost people and Christians alike to the wonderful idea that any Christian who disagrees with him, his view of evidence, or particular version of Calvinism is nothing more than a diabolical liar. After taking his last victim to public task for allegedly lying his way through life, he now makes one of the greatest Christian apologists in recent times into...into...want to... Read more →

SBTS & SEBTS Students Caught on Camera After GCRTF Vote by Peter Lumpkins

I usually do not allow unsubstantiated material on this site. However, since it was filmed by an impeccable source, in the interest of truth, I can do no other. I'm told hidden cameras caught students (and at least two professors) at both Southeastern and Southern seminaries in their initial response to the vote on the GCRTF Report at the Southern Baptist Convention in Orlando. Witnesses say the reaction of our future leaders was identical at both schools. The reader can be the judge. With that, I am... Peter thanks to... Read more →

James White and The Qu'rrrrran by Peter Lumpkins

I had planned to put up Part II on "James White, Scholarship, and Insulting Ergun Caner" but ran out of time this week. You may read Part I here. In the meantime, however, we can have a good laugh at the collage I threw together. James White mercilessly ridiculed Dr. Ergun Caner's Arabic pronunciation. Note on the video, White's love for rrrrrolling those "R's." I wonder if rrrrrrrolling "R's" is indigenous to Arizona? With that, I am... Peter Read more →

James White & Mohammed Khan: A Match Made in Heaven by Peter Lumpkins

"What has Athens to do with Jerusalem?" queried the famous church father, Tertullian. A similar question could be asked about the odd love-liaison between the Calvinist apologist, James White, and a Muslim named Mohammed Khan: "What has Mecca to do with Jerusalem?" or "the crescent with the cross?" Nevertheless, the odd duo finds one thing both love to do: both men love to howl about Ergun Caner. Up until now, the two have howled separately. Recently, however, White became official ministry-partners with Khan and both were caught on camera together,... Read more →

James White, Elder Boards, and Accountability: Late Night Friday Funnies by Peter Lumpkins

UPDATE: No, the following is *not* a spoof. Make sure you follow the links... Sometimes, one cannot resist getting a big, belly roll laugh on the blogs. And, after a week of relatively intense flame rounds from folks, I end the week with a smile on my face. A new-comer commenter made a great point on the last post. Rarely do I offer rejoinders to my respondents as a main piece, but I could not resist. “Robert” correctly observes: “[James White] always makes a big deal about being accountable to... Read more →

Funny Friday by Peter Lumpkins

The following video is very funny. Disclaimer: unfortunately it is an ad for lottery. Please laugh with caveats :^) With that, I am... Peter Read more →

New Contextualized Missional Method: Holy Ghost Hokie Pokie by Peter Lumpkins

Observe the hottest new method for contextualizing our missional participation in global outreach: With that, I am... Peter Read more →

Spike and Little Chester: The Perfect Picture of James White & Founders Ministries by Peter Lumpkins

What do Hyper-Calvinist James White (pp.95-96, footnotes 103-105) and Founders Ministries have in common? It's hard to put in words. But the little cartoon below says bunches. Enjoy... With that, I am... Peter Read more →

Does Southern Cooking Produce the Worst Obesity? by Peter Lumpkins

We southerners often get dubbed as lard-belly fat boys because of our unhealthy obsession with southern fried chicken, hog jowls, salt pork, ham-n-biscuits, sweet potato pie, buttery cornbread, and three-pound BBQ sandwiches. I mean, come on. Can we not enjoy any of the pleasures of life as Christians? Well now all us southern, middle-aged tubbies can say a hearty ‘in-yo-face’ to those who have wrongly discriminated against us for our greasy spoons. I’m referring to the latest Gallup findings which list the 10 most obese metropolitan areas in the country.... Read more →

The Next President of the Southern Baptist Convention by Peter Lumpkins

I had a conversation with a good friend yesterday on the phone. One curiosity we discussed concerned what can only be described as an odd silence on nominees for president of the Southern Baptist Convention. Making it harder to predict is the even odder platform for the pastor's conference... The person I predicted two years ago to be the next president of the Southern Baptist Convention--Ted Traylor, Senior Pastor of Olive Baptist Church, Pensacola, Fl--is conspicuously absent from the pastor's conference lineup. And, as my friend quickly and rightly reminded... Read more →

Ever seen a Dog Smile? by Peter Lumpkins

Dogs are incredible creatures but I've never seen one smile. At least not like this. Have you? With that, I am... Peter Read more →